Last week I mentioned feeling bummed about winning an award that was not as high as I had hoped it would be.

Visualizing success is important because it primes your brain to take steps towards enacting that success. But it also makes you vulnerable. It opens you up to possible disappointment, and from such disappointment exists a narrow bridge that swings precariously over the murky waters of apathy.

I have fallen in a few times, and let me tell you from experience, apathy is hard to wash off. If not for the overwhelming drive of ambition that comes from God Knows Where, I would have given up a long time ago. (Probably during one of the three incredibly crappy beginning drafts of my novel that I wrote in high school and college.)

Feeling a bit out of sorts this week, I decided to pick a random episode of the Writing Excuses podcast – the one titled, “The Excuses You’re Out Of.” One of the authors, Dan Wells, mentioned how going to dinner with three other New York Times bestselling authors made him feel totally depressed – “They’re all successful and my books are crappy.” Howard Tayler chimed in with his own story, describing his disappointment when he didn’t win a Hugo award. His first reaction was, “I need to write better,” but he realized a better way of thinking was to just focus on writing more.

It was comforting to hear that even the “proven” published professionals have that kind of self-doubt. I would add that to combat self-doubt, you need to surround yourself with supportive, positive people. My parents are beacons of positivity and optimism, and when I need comments related specifically to writing, I reach out to my writer friends. When I told one of my wonderful writer friends of my disappointment, her response was that the contests are subjective and I can’t assume that I am doing anything wrong. Just keep writing, keep submitting, and eventually, “the amazing world you’ve created will see the publishing light of day.”

See? Gotta surround yourself with those kind of people. They’ll be your lifeblood in a world filled with rejection.

The other Writing Excuses author, Brandon Sanderson, equates writing to practicing the piano: Just write more every day and you’ll get better. I would relate my experience with writing to horseback riding. Some weeks I do really well – the horse is totally under my control and my body is strong. Other weeks I flop all over the place and the horse completely takes the reins (yes, you see what I did there).

So many people my age call themselves realists. I think it is because they are afraid of wanting too much and the crushing disappointment that happens when reality fails expectations. Me? I would rather dream big than not at all. When you’ve chosen a career field that has so many humbling opportunities for rejection, it is imperative that you take these faults in stride. So yes, keep on writing, swimming, whatever it is that you’re doing.

This weekend I am attending the Southern California Writers Conference, so expect an update on that next week 🙂

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About the Author

Anastasia writes sci-fi novels and short stories. When not writing, she does other cool things like hanging out with her cats, allowing her Chinese skills to deteriorate, and contemplating life as a Big Scary Adult.



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